It was supposed to be easier than this- Pt. 9

It’s now been two months since I did my Happy Dance down the sidewalk of my former workplace.  My former coworkers who were separated from employment (more business-speak that cracks me the hell up) were right.  Leaving that place was the best feeling in the world.  Life is good again.

The best part of my departure from The Rock has been my mental healing.  The depression that was eating away at me is gone, or at the very least, has dropped to a level where it doesn’t register.  My research into depression has shown me that my chances of experiencing it again are high.  The friends whom I confided in at work have warned me not to take it lightly and to stay on medication to help keep it regulated.  If the past is an indicator of the future then I will eventually stop the meds.  I’m a single guy.  It’s what we do.

The second best part of my departure has been living life unencumbered.  I’m not out every day, but I’ve been able to do the things I want when I want without the concern of my old job getting in the way.  My dear friend Steph invited me join her and two of her kids at a Cubs game at Wrigley Field.  The Cubs beat the hated San Francisco Giants.  Yes!  My goddaughter Abby and I went to a Dierks Bentley concert, my first concert as a fan of country music, in downtown Fort Wayne.  I’ve taken a road trip to visit dear friends down in Evansville where I was able to watch most of my camping trip kids participate in their extracurricular activity of choice.  I attended both days of the Johnny Appleseed Festival with friends and family.  Abby’s sister Maggie was the costume designer for a stage production, Escanaba in da Moonlight, here in Fort Wayne.  Their parents, Mary and Mitch, and I attended the play.  It was a great show.

Most of that would have been difficult to do if I were still at my old job.  Far too many times did the excuse of sleep interfere with my ability to get out and do the things I wanted to do.  There is, of course, no guarantee that my next job won’t do the same, so I’m trying to get out and do things as much as possible.

Now on to the negative aspect of my departure from my old job.

Let’s see… there’s… no, that’s not a negative.  That’s not.  Neither is that.  The only truly negative thing about leaving that place is that I miss the people I worked with.  We experienced a lot there throughout the years.  Challenges were given and met.  Problems were tackled.  We achieved a great deal in those twenty years.  Most of all, for much of those twenty years we had fun doing it.  The fun didn’t last.  It wasn’t until the last several years that it truly became a chore to go into work and get through a single day.  Ultimately, the only thing keeping me there was my group of friends.  They kept me sane until it became so bad for me that I had no choice other than to leave.  Thankfully we have Facebook to stay in touch in some measure.

Physically, I still feel like a mess.  Years of being on my feet most of the day while wearing crappy work boots has taken its toll on me.  My lower back hurts far too often and I have no idea how much my scoliosis plays into that.  I can get along just fine on my feet and walk for a pretty good distance most days.  One minor misstep though can twist my back into a pretzel and then I’m done.  My knees sometimes feel like they could give way at any time.  On the plus side, my feet don’t hurt like they used to, so that’s a good thing.  Growing old sucks.

And now, we’re at the inspiration for this series of stories and their title… the writing.

When I left my job I had grand ideas and plans on what to write. So full of ideas was I that it felt like I would get right into the old familiar groove where the stories just write themselves.  Nothing was further from the truth.


3 thoughts on “It was supposed to be easier than this- Pt. 9

  1. What a fun series to read. Fun in that it seemed like a pleasure for you to write. I love good memoir, and this stacks up with the best. We will miss your face for sure. But so happy that you found the strength to do what needed to be done for you. Keep writing, my friend. I’ve found no greater way to keep the demon of depression at bay …

    Liked by 1 person

  2. Front porch sittin’ with a cup of coffee on this beautiful day, FINALLY reading your wonderful blog! Thanks for the mention! And I, too, request an autographed copy of not just your first book – but EVERY book you write. And I know you will! Love you, Tad!


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