Life as a Dork

foceawakensThere are but two weeks left before the opening of a movie that I was once certain would never be made.  Star Wars: The Force Awakens is already shattering box office records just in advanced ticket sales.  The tie-in merchandise has been on store shelves for several weeks now.  Unlike with the last trilogy of movies that last hit the big screen a decade ago, I’ve not had the urge to run out and buy up all of the figures and other do-dads made available before the movie is released.  The only thing I’ve purchased so far has been an 8GB R2-D2 thumb drive for its utility.  To be perfectly honest, though, I do like the four-foot tall Darth Vader I’ve seen at Meijer.  Each time I walk past the Dark Lord I spend a little more time admiring him.  It’s probably just a matter of time.

What follows is the prelude to a series of emails I sent to friends in the lead up to Revenge of the Sith way back in 2004-2005. There were forty parts in all.  I will try to add them all to this blog before the new movie hits while still working on the Two Tales series.

* * * * * * * * * * * * * * *

swdvdLife as a Dork

September 2004

Most of you are aware that I am a total dork when it comes to Star Wars. I have been waiting for what seems like ages for the original trilogy to come out on DVD. Well today was the big day!

Now, I’m trying to rid myself of the whole dork thing. I still love the movies, especially the very first one, but it’s time to move on. It’s been a long process that hasn’t been easy.

Five years ago, when The Phantom Menace was released, I stood in line for a MIDNIGHT showing of the movie. Midnight! Then I went back later that day. I saw the movie a total of thirteen times at the theater in the few months it was at the theater.

Two years ago I went to Indianapolis for the big Star Wars Celebration II. This was a huge dorkfest for Star Wars geeks like myself who get off on all things Star Wars-related. While there I stood in several lines with several doofuses (doofi?) who were dressed as Jedi Knights, Dark Jedi or stormtroopers. Thankfully I did not embarrass myself by doing the same. (Who wants to see a fat Jedi? I choose to wear my Jedi togs in the privacy of my own home, thank you very much.) It was around this time that it truly hit home how big a dork I really am.

Two weeks later I stood in line again to see Attack of the Clones at another midnight showing and went back later that day. I saw that movie a mere five times at the theater. The last time I watched it I fell asleep. That was a bit of a wake up call.

So far, I’ve managed to avoid any spoilers on the Internet about next year’s release of Episode III. I recently read that Celebration III will be in Indy next spring prior to the release of the new movie and I don’t believe I’ll be going (for the whole weekend anyway.) It seems that I’m making some progress here.

Then the inevitable happened. The news of today’s DVD release came out several months ago. I’ve anxiously been awaiting this day ever since.

Of course, all of the stores in the Sunday ads were touting how they were going to be selling the DVDs today, but none of them dared show the price. My strategy for this morning was to go to Barnes & Noble, Wal-Mart and Best Buy, all of which are located in the same general area on Fort Wayne’s southwest side of town. I’d check them all out and see which had the best price.

I arrived at B&N around 9:20 and learned that even with my membership card I would be paying $53. No way! I went to Wal-Mart. $39! Definitely need to keep this in mind. Then I went to Best Buy. They have it for $42 but offer a free special edition magazine to the first 160 customers to buy the movie or new video game. A free SW magazine? I’ll get the movie here. One small problem. They’re not open until 10:00.

And there’s a small crowd forming at the door.

Yet another line to stand in!

I refused to get out of my truck until the doors opened. The dork in me was screaming though. This internal struggle continued for several minutes. As more people arrived the struggle became even more difficult. In the end I won out. I managed to stay in my truck until the store opened and I managed to get the free magazine as well. Ahh, the satisfaction.

I got home with the DVDs and got everything ready. Phone off the hook? Check. Glass of tea and bowl of popcorn? Check. Remote control handy? Check. Batteries? Batteries? No batteries! How the hell can I watch the movie without my Obi-Wan Kenobi light saber?


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