Star Wars: A Geek’s Tale: Episode VII


While a normal person would have been pleased with the profit I made on my Jango Fett bust, to me it wasn’t enough to pay off the bounty that Jabba the Hutt placed on Han Solo’s head. The Dark Side of the Force was growing stronger in me and I hungered for more.

But what could I sell to some poor fool willing to pay the big bucks?

I thought about the other memorabilia I had and recalled owning two action figures that were exclusive to Celebration II three years ago. I ran a search for the figure on eBay and found that it was bringing in a tidy sum. I put it up for auction that night.

The figure was a Jorg Sacul Rebel Pilot figure. He bore an uncanny physical
resemblance to George Lucas – the creator of the Star Wars empire that has owned my soul for the last 28 years – and had a life history that was very similar to my master’s. I purchased two of the figures at the show – one for me and one for a fellow Star Wars geek at work. The geek never asked for the figure so I held on to it in case its value ever went up.

The figure sold for $36, netting a profit of $26. Again, I was happy but still thirsted for more. What would go next?

Jerry, my eBay mentor, told me that the Darth Vader busts were going for over $200 and the Yoda busts for more than $150. A terrible, wrenching pain racked my body as the Dark Side tested me once more. I paid $50 and $45 respectively for those two figures. The profit on them would be big, but I couldn’t bear the thought of parting with them. I denied the Darkness and said, “That’s not enough.”

A few days later, Jerry, my “good” friend, showed me the latest winning bids on the Vader busts. $300. Six times what I paid for it. The pain returned. I struggled to get the words out. “That’s still…not enough.”

A few days passed before Jerry asked if I was still watching the Vader busts on eBay. I eyed him suspiciously. He knew damn well that I was. The busts were now getting nearly $400. I couldn’t do it. It was Vader for crying out loud! He was too freaking cool looking sitting there above my computer.

Sensing I was near the breaking point, eBay went in for the kill.

Coming up:
The straw that broke the bantha’s back


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